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[rubyeyes_ryuhou]

[This gray, snowy day finds Ryuhou sitting out on his porch step, a note held in his hands. His eyes scan over the words several times as though he can't believe them.

Finally, he stands, crumpling the paper in his fist, stalking toward the edge of town. He doesn't seem to notice the cold as the wind whips his thin uniform jacket around him.]

I want to... hit something. That's more Kazuma's style, but now I understand why. I'm going to explode if I don't.

Comments

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[rubyeyes-ryuhou.livejournal.com]

[Ryuhou clenches his teeth and turns away from Duo, not wanting him to see how close he is to breaking.] You're right. I was happy.

I should have known it wouldn't last. I shouldn't have let myself... [He breaks off and shakes his head.]

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[colony_brat]

[Duo's eyes roll up and he prays he isn't about to get killed for this or forever hated. He takes a deep breath and pushes Ryuhou pretty hard. It should be enough to make him stumble.] Bullshit. You take whatever happiness ya can 'fore somethin' snatches it away or I might as well kill ya now.

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[rubyeyes-ryuhou.livejournal.com]

[Caught off guard, Ryuhou does stumble sideways, but then his head snaps up to face Duo.] Don't tell me how to live! [He reaches out to shove Duo back, his previous purpose of wanting to hit something coming back.] Everyone I've ever cared about dies or gets taken away! One of these days, you'll leave, and Hijiri, or I'll go home and I won't ever see you again. So why should I even bother? What makes it mean anything at all?

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[colony_brat]

The fuck do ya think happens ta me!? [Duo knows this is stupid, but he knows it'll be good for Ryuhou too.] The same fuckin' thing! You're lucky you're not already dead just 'cause I care what happens to your stupid ass! Ya try ta enjoy whatever time ya got 'cause that's all there is! This is it! You enjoy life, have some fun, or ya might as well go jump in the lake and kill yourself! I didn't think you were the kidna person ta just give up!

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[rubyeyes-ryuhou.livejournal.com]

That might be how you choose to live your life, but it's not mine, Duo! Life might be all fun and games to you here, and maybe you thought it was fun to push me and Leto together... [He takes a sharp breath at that, pained and angry.] It's not me! I'm not like that!

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[colony_brat]

The fuck it's all fun and games! You think I don't worry 'bout when the Malnosso are gunna make me KILL you guys just ta see how I do it? Or worse! It was fun ta see ya happy! It was fun ta see you havin' a good time for once! [Duo tries to take a deep breath and prepare for the punch he's sure he's going to get. He has to keep pushing Ryuhou though or he's going to rust up like broken suits in the jungle. He reaches up and pushes Ryuhou again with his last word.]

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[rubyeyes-ryuhou.livejournal.com]

Oh? And is it fun to see me like this now? [He puts his hand on Duo's chest and shoves back, pushed to his limit.]

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[colony_brat]

[Duo stumbles back but he gets right back in Ryuhou's face.] Hell no! I hate seein' my friends hurt like this! You cared 'bout 'im and now he's gone! What could be fun 'bout that?

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[rubyeyes-ryuhou.livejournal.com]

I loved him, goddamn it! [And with that, everything just seems to drain out of Ryuhou, and he slumps to the side, leaning against a tree, his head buried in his hands.]

And now he's gone... just like everyone else I ever... [He breaks off, one hand clutching at his chest, as though in pain.]

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[colony_brat]

Shit.

[Duo wanted Ryuhou to let it out, rather than bottle it up and start acting like an ass again, but this wasn't what was supposed to happen. Maybe later after some screaming and hitting, but not now.]

We make quite a pair, ya know that? At least he's gone back ta his world, right? He's not dead. Just not here. [Duo leans on the tree next to Ryuhou where their shoulders can touch, but he's not pushing Ryuhou too much. He's clearly done enough of that.]

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[rubyeyes-ryuhou.livejournal.com]

[He nods quickly, jerkily.] I know that. I know. Still means I won't ever see him again. Same thing in the end.

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[colony_brat]

No. 's not the same as if he's gone forever 'cause ya know he's in his world, doin' what he has ta do. It sucks and it kills ya, but it's better.

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[rubyeyes-ryuhou.livejournal.com]

Maybe. He probably doesn't even remember being here. [He takes a deep, shuddering breath.] It'll be the same for me, when I go.

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[colony_brat]

Yeah, but you remember now and now's all that matters. Might not get a tomorrow. The village could be burned down tomorrow. Brain-eating virus could turn your brain inta soup tomorrow. You remember him today. You guys had fun, you were happy. Hell, you were happy 'nough ta put up with me and play along with me bein' a pain in the ass.